Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.

One Bottle of Jim Beam: $18

One Paddle and Anchor: $45

One Canoe: $275

Nearly drowning yourself when your canoe sinks in the middle of Black Lake at 3 a.m. and looking like a moronic asshole in front of your whole family: PRICELESS!

Money can't buy dignity. For everything else there's Visa Card.